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REALITY
Chapter 4
>Reality
<FINN> …
<VAL> …
<VAL> …
<FINN> Mark this planet as bad, let's go home.
<VAL> No, we have to figure out what this is first. What’s your name lil'guy?
<???> Princeton Urgulruck. :3
<FINN> He’s messing with us.
<VAL> Yeah I’m startin’ to think so.
<VAL> No, we have to figure out what this is first. What’s your name lil'guy?
<???> Princeton Urgulruck. :3
<FINN> He’s messing with us.
<VAL> Yeah I’m startin’ to think so.
<FINN> Okay PRINCETON, is this your place?
<PU> No. :)
<FINN> Then whose is it?
<PU> Ish my dads booker shop!! :p
<FINN> Soooo you work here? Do you catch glurb meat or something?
<PU> No I own thish placesh. :)
<PU> No. :)
<FINN> Then whose is it?
<PU> Ish my dads booker shop!! :p
<FINN> Soooo you work here? Do you catch glurb meat or something?
<PU> No I own thish placesh. :)
<FINN> Dude! You said it was your dad’s?
<PU> Ya, it usesh to be my dadsh. But then… they got him… :(
<FINN> Ohhh this sucks so bad.
>You prepare for the sappy backstory that makes you understand PRINCETON URUGLRUCK’S evil motive. You hate this. Every second of it. But, it’s your job so you have no choice but to endure through.
<PU> Ya, it usesh to be my dadsh. But then… they got him… :(
<FINN> Ohhh this sucks so bad.
>You prepare for the sappy backstory that makes you understand PRINCETON URUGLRUCK’S evil motive. You hate this. Every second of it. But, it’s your job so you have no choice but to endure through.
<PU> We usesh to travel far to the Copse System and VICIOUSLY MURDER deer on every planet there. It wash the only time we shpent together. I had no choicesh but it made dad happy so I kept going. While hunting on one planet, the glurbsh caught noticesh of my dads shuper big muscular armsh. They must’ve been sho jealoush of hish build. >:,(
>GLURBS are a highly intelligent species that only attack when in danger. PRINCETON URGULRUCK’S FATHER probably had it coming. We cannot admit this.
>PRINCETON URGULRUCK takes a minute to recuperate himself before he shares more of this traumatic event.
<PU> Eventually, they ambushed my dad and beat him. They beat him to death right in front of me all becaushe he had mushcle. But now look around at all theshe pathetic… scrawny… GLURBBITSH! I’ve hated the glurbsh ever since that day… so now, I torture and eat parts of them here. :3
>GLURBS are a highly intelligent species that only attack when in danger. PRINCETON URGULRUCK’S FATHER probably had it coming. We cannot admit this.
>PRINCETON URGULRUCK takes a minute to recuperate himself before he shares more of this traumatic event.
<PU> Eventually, they ambushed my dad and beat him. They beat him to death right in front of me all becaushe he had mushcle. But now look around at all theshe pathetic… scrawny… GLURBBITSH! I’ve hated the glurbsh ever since that day… so now, I torture and eat parts of them here. :3
<VAL> Uh... was that a slur?
<FINN> Welp! Val we got our answer we can go… like now… PLEASE.
<VAL to PU> What the hell is wrong with you? Viciously murdering deer on other planets? Was it for survival or boredom? Kidnapping glurbs just to bring them back here and torture them to death–
<PU> Woah, woah, I’m not entirely evil, they’re not dead! They SHOULD all shtill be alive! The deer on the other hand wash boredom, yes. :)
>The distant groans of the HOOKED GLURBS cry out. They must’ve been listening this whole time.
<FINN> Dude, I think it would’ve been better if you put them out of their fucking misery. Look at them! They’re only a head and arms, AND YOU ATE THEIR ARMS! THEY'RE JUST HEAD NOW!
<FINN> Welp! Val we got our answer we can go… like now… PLEASE.
<VAL to PU> What the hell is wrong with you? Viciously murdering deer on other planets? Was it for survival or boredom? Kidnapping glurbs just to bring them back here and torture them to death–
<PU> Woah, woah, I’m not entirely evil, they’re not dead! They SHOULD all shtill be alive! The deer on the other hand wash boredom, yes. :)
>The distant groans of the HOOKED GLURBS cry out. They must’ve been listening this whole time.
<FINN> Dude, I think it would’ve been better if you put them out of their fucking misery. Look at them! They’re only a head and arms, AND YOU ATE THEIR ARMS! THEY'RE JUST HEAD NOW!
<PU> I don’t know… I actually never even wanted thish… I just wanted to make my dad happy… 0_0
<FINN> Is this what your dad would have wanted?
<PU> Ya, he told me to always eat my enemies. :3
<VAL> Enough of your dad Princeton, what do YOU want?
<PU> I...I want to go far away and travel! I want to go to other galaxiesh and shee what other life formsh exisht! I want to meet new people and not ruthlessly murder them. I don’t want to keep eating thish terrible shit. It’sh not even good! I was just doing it for my shitty father. >w<
<FINN> Is this what your dad would have wanted?
<PU> Ya, he told me to always eat my enemies. :3
<VAL> Enough of your dad Princeton, what do YOU want?
<PU> I...I want to go far away and travel! I want to go to other galaxiesh and shee what other life formsh exisht! I want to meet new people and not ruthlessly murder them. I don’t want to keep eating thish terrible shit. It’sh not even good! I was just doing it for my shitty father. >w<
<FINN> Good! Lets get you traveling dude! Don't worry about this place, we'll clean it up! Meanwhile, you go away, like far away. Please get out of here.
<PU> Yeah… you’re right! I have my ship right outside! I’m gonna go to the Luxiv Galaxy and-and check out all the cool clubsh and shee Shtella live! >w<
<FINN> Yeah! Awesome! Please get out! :D
<PU> And after that I’m gonna get sho many ladiesh and breed them and—
>PRINCETON URGULRUCK’s voice fades out as he runs out of the SHOP and towards his ship. You are glad you didn’t have to hear the rest of whatever he was saying.
<PU> Yeah… you’re right! I have my ship right outside! I’m gonna go to the Luxiv Galaxy and-and check out all the cool clubsh and shee Shtella live! >w<
<FINN> Yeah! Awesome! Please get out! :D
<PU> And after that I’m gonna get sho many ladiesh and breed them and—
>PRINCETON URGULRUCK’s voice fades out as he runs out of the SHOP and towards his ship. You are glad you didn’t have to hear the rest of whatever he was saying.
>On his way out, he hit a “FREEDOM” button which opened up the gate that trapped everyone in the SHOP, and also shot off any objects stuck on the hooks.
>FREEDOM!
[ MINUTES LATER... QUITE A FEW ACTUALLY ]
>Our COSMIC ANGELS helped out any GLURBS that struggled getting back on their hands as PRINCETON URGLRUCK urgently fled the planet in his ship. That distant star must be him!
>Unfortunely, the GLURBS are now trapped on this dusty old rock, but that doesn’t seem to upset them as the GLURB species is defined by their FAMILY INSTINCTS making anything work in their favor as long as they STICK TOGETHER.
>Yes, this also includes the bed frame.
>It seems they’re already taking a liking to the butcher shop and turning it into their NEW HOME. Happy.
>Our COSMIC ANGELS helped out any GLURBS that struggled getting back on their hands as PRINCETON URGLRUCK urgently fled the planet in his ship. That distant star must be him!
>Unfortunely, the GLURBS are now trapped on this dusty old rock, but that doesn’t seem to upset them as the GLURB species is defined by their FAMILY INSTINCTS making anything work in their favor as long as they STICK TOGETHER.
>Yes, this also includes the bed frame.
>It seems they’re already taking a liking to the butcher shop and turning it into their NEW HOME. Happy.
<FINN> WOW. He was a complete freak.
>The two angels take a seat near the spot Val laid down her SWEET JACKET and finally relax.
>Wasn't there something you had to do, Val? Maybe contact someone..? Oh right! CLIPBOARD DUTY.
<FINN> This is kind of depressing. Imagine being tortured here and having to make it your new home. I wish we could do something about it.
<VAL> Think of it like this, we did do SOMETHING! Gettin’ rid of that lunatic just saved them from more torture. Imagine being that GLURB currently inside. He has no eyes or arms, what's he gonna do with his life? Unfortunately we couldn’t help him, but we managed to stop that from happening to others and I see THAT as a win.
<FINN> Yeah… I don't want to think about this anymore, just sign the paper so we can get out of here. I want my bean bag.
>The two angels take a seat near the spot Val laid down her SWEET JACKET and finally relax.
>Wasn't there something you had to do, Val? Maybe contact someone..? Oh right! CLIPBOARD DUTY.
<FINN> This is kind of depressing. Imagine being tortured here and having to make it your new home. I wish we could do something about it.
<VAL> Think of it like this, we did do SOMETHING! Gettin’ rid of that lunatic just saved them from more torture. Imagine being that GLURB currently inside. He has no eyes or arms, what's he gonna do with his life? Unfortunately we couldn’t help him, but we managed to stop that from happening to others and I see THAT as a win.
<FINN> Yeah… I don't want to think about this anymore, just sign the paper so we can get out of here. I want my bean bag.
>When signing your name on the clipboard WORK FORM you are giving access to let BOSS LIGHTBEAM you back home.
>With the GLURBS now taking over DV5T8-0W1, this planet is marked for GOOD, rendering this mission complete.
>With the GLURBS now taking over DV5T8-0W1, this planet is marked for GOOD, rendering this mission complete.
>*ZAP*
[V] NEXT SLIDE>>
[V] NEXT SLIDE>>
[V] - Chalkboard Memories
>TO BE CONTINUED...
[END OF VOLUME I]
[END OF VOLUME I]
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